I'm sorry
by stayingstrong 2007- 2013
Summary: " why.." , I whisper for him to hear and walk away out of the class room not bothering to go back even when the teacher was calling my name . tears slipped down my cheeks All I'm thinking " why can't we start over " .


**hey guys this is a one shot , but when your done reading this one shot tell me if it should have a two shot . so review and I hope you like it . **

* * *

_ " she paints a pretty picture "_

* * *

I pick it up and start drawing the picture with emotions , I smile because that's the only thing I have . I make a beautiful picture , and with the picture , I laugh to myself .

_" but the story has a twist , her paint - brush is her razor _

_And her canvas is her wrist "_

i draw one more picture and i will be free , free from this world . I touch my wrist and see the masterpiece I made to myself .

_" she paints her pretty picture_

_In a color that's blood-red "_

I paint and paint , in a color that's my blood-red . My blood ...

I breathe and let it all out .

" _while using her paint - brush_

_She ends up finally dead "_

I'm done painting my pretty picture and finally I'm gone , I killed the girl who was inside of me , I killed Ally Marie Dawson . I open my eyes slowly , i slowly walk to the mirror and look at this stranger and broken girl .

_" quite slowly on her arm_

_The blood is not racing through her "_

* * *

_" she can no longer do harm "_

I can't do more harm to myself , when I already did, but now it's different

" she painted her pretty picture , but her picture had a twist

_You see her mind was her razor_

_And her heart was her wrist "_

I was no longer Ally Dawson the one who talks a lot , I'm a new different Ally and they broke me .

* * *

Walking to the school halls , no smile just a frown .. Sad ... Oh sadness in my heart . I walk in the class room while everybody is looking at me, I put my head down staring at my shoes.

I see them , my best friends ... Trish , Dez, and the one and only Austin ... Hanging out with the popular crew .

Not one look at me . it hurt my heart . what was left for me nothing , my mom left and never came back , my dad well he didn't give a shit about me . All I Ally Dawson have is my demons and nightmares .

All alone in this dark sadness .

* * *

_" Can we start over "_

I sit in my seat next to Austin in math class and I hear him laugh and talk with his friend . my Hands start shaking and the tears build up in my eyes.

The bell starts to ring.. And the teacher starts speaking and gave us an assignment .

" Au..Austin " , I whisper to him

" what " , he replies in harsh tone that makes my heart crack .

" ..." , I didn't tell him

" what the fuck do you want " , he tells me and gives me a glare

All I could do was

" why.." , I whisper for him to hear and walk away out of the class room not bothering to go back even when the teacher was calling my name . tears slipped down my cheeks

All I'm thinking " _why can't we start over " ._

* * *

_" Can we be strangers again "_

I was sitting in the lunch room table and I saw Austin laughing and smiling , I knew he didn't miss me, I was horrible at telling jokes and he would give me a frown when I tried , I spoke too much just couldn't shut the hell up , even Austin told me to stop talking .

Austin turned around and met my eyes and gave me a glare that cracked my heart and I looked down at my hands whispering

" why can't we be strangers " .

* * *

_" Let me introduce myself "_

I walked into the halls and someone pushed me over and through my books on the floor , I started to pick it up and left home .

I got to my room and went straight to the bath room , I took a red lipstick and wrote on the mirror

_let me introduce myself , hi I'm Ally Marie Dawson and I'm ugly , I'm fat , I can't shut the hell up , I'm _

_A burden , I'm not funny , nobody likes me and well ... I don't like myself either . _

* * *

_We can laugh and talk_

I walk to school and hear Austin talking

" oh my god , did you see Dawson .. She's ugly as fuck , nobody would love her " , he said ?laughing with his friends

I laugh to myself because what he said was true , was nothing and I was ugly as fuck so who could love me?

I talk about how ugly I am and well its true I am .

* * *

_And relearn what we know_

So what we know about me ... Already known .

_Give each other a second chance_

Another day in school I was walking until I saw Austin walking in the halls alone , I walked over to him and I heard him say ugh .

" hey ..Austin " , I tell him while stuttering and he looks at me

" go away " , he tells me , I grab on to his hand and he gives me a glare and rips my arms out of his, I hear a cracking my heart

" look ... I don't want you here Ally ! I don't like you any more , so go away , you've made my life ugh I can't stand you ! You ugly as fuck can't you see it ! Nobody is going to love you ! Get it through your skull Dawson ! Nobody and don't ever fucking talk to me ! " ,

he says those words in a harsh tone and giving me a glare . I nod my head and turn around and walk away , the pain in my heart won't stop and the tears that I held on , broke inside of me . I walk away from school out the doors .

" I'm sorry " , I whisper to myself .

* * *

I walked into the school the next day ready to say goodbye to Austin , I found him in the halls in his locker and I walked to him

" what the fuck did I tell you " , he says to me

" I just want to tell you I'm..so..sorry Austin and goodbye " , I tell him

" oh and here " , I give a piece of paper that I wrote a letter to him . I walk out the school doors never coming back .

* * *

_Dear Austin ,_

_i wrote this letter for you ... Honestly I knew you were going to leave me _

_I saw how you looked at Cassidy , you liked her and I'm sorry _

_If I couldn't give you anything like she did . _

_I just want to tell you I'm not over you , I still love you . _

_You told me to change , so I did and I killed the Ally Dawson you hated and didn't like , but It didn't help at all , you still thought I was ugly and well I was , so you weren't wrong . you told me to stop eating , so I did , but that made me look worse , you said . I'm sorry I can't have a sexy body like Cassidy . you told me to shut the hell up , so I did . I was quite Andi thought that would bring me back to you , but I didn't . I will always love you even though you hurt me . I will have the memories in my heart . I know that you will forget me and its fine , nobody remembers Ally Dawson . I'm sorry for bothering you . I'm sorry I'm not perfect . I'm sorry , but Austin the memories we made that night were amazing , I was going to tell you the next day , but I didn't want to bother you . I was pregnant ..Austin _

_, but I got into a car accident that day you yelled at me for bothering you at school with Cassidy and the baby died . _

_Austin by the time you finish reading this letter , I will be gone and You can't find me . I have to go Austin , your right I need to disappear , I don't belong in this world . I just want to tell you , I got sick Austin ... Really sick and ..._

_I'm sorry . _

_Love , _

_Ally _

* * *

**Fin.**


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